It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I enjoy the company of your penis
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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