I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize