you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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