She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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