Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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