ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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