And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
