Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
