this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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