why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
