you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
