Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize