why didn't you poke me back
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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