I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize