Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
