you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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