dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
