At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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