did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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