if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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