There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i will never coherently bang her
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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