Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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