i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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