Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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