worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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