The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize