I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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