I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
