I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
