Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
