I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
