I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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