I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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