Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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