I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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