nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
