I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize