What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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