So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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