I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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