Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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