I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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