i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
