I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
