So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
