At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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