I'm really into asian looking animals
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Acid is not a monday night drug
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
