And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
