at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
