we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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