talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
