"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
