there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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