drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize