i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
