i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
